Season 1 Finale
When we first started this podcast, we knew we were making something special. Something for a niche community: Latina moms, from a certain generation, who also happen to listen to podcasts. Along the way though, we’ve realized that while we are creating a product for a niche community, it can be consumed by everyone because no matter who you are, or where you come from, the truth is that motherhood and the topics related to it, are universal. Plus, you know what else is universal? Laughter and friendship. And if you’ve listened to our podcast at all, you know that these two things are at the core.
Alex and I make a pretty good team. We have danced together, played together and now embarked on learning an entirely new industry, and all of the skills that go with it together. It has been an exhausting and at once exciting endeavor. Exhausting because learning to do something new always is. Exciting because the response, while not representing an exorbitant number, has been a wave of love and positivity, which in the end is the greater sum. We laugh a lot and since we did not set out to create comedy, in fact, we intended well researched, informative and fun, we had no idea that the most repeated comment would be that listeners laugh along with us.
The laughter and the shared experience of momming while Latina has resonated with our very special niche community and we are so thankful. You know how they say you learn to be a mom with your first born child? Well, we learned to be mom podcasters with Season 1. And you know how they say by the second child you get it right? Well, same. See you for Season 2! Launch date to be announced.
And as always, would love to hear from you!
Drowning in kid stuff
Kids require an enormous amount of equipment. You have all the gear for sleeping, feeding, transporting, dressing, cleaning and entertaining. Because kids grow so fast, once you are in the never-ending loop of kid stuff, you are kind of stuck in it until they are independent.
It begins with the baby shower. I don’t really know how long the baby shower tradition as we know it has been around, but it is all dumb in my opinion. The only part of the modern day baby shower that I think is genius, is the registering for gifts part and making the guests buy you things from this list. Honestly, without this guided list, my baby would have been born and I would not have had any of the necessary items needed for taking care of a baby. First of all I hate shopping and at that point in my life, I had never been around babies so I really didn’t understand all of the gear that would be needed. I was very fortunate. I got everything on my baby registry and then some.
And then the baby, (babies now), kept getting more stuff from well meaning family and friends, who are so lovely and just want to support and bring joy to these children, until the accumulation of kid stuff started taking over the house and one day, I woke up and it looked like a Toys r Us and a Gap Baby had exploded in my house. I was pretty good for a long time about keeping most kid things at bay, but then I had a second baby and now we have kid stuff in every room and it truly stresses me out. I am by no means a hoarder. The opposite in fact. I am constantly donating and getting rid of stuff and still, more stuff just appears.
I don’t think I had that much stuff growing up. No, I know that I didn't have that much stuff growing up. This is probably why I also don’t think that much stuff is necessary.
I am two kids in and the most useful items have been:
Honestly, the useless list can go on and on, but that's just me. I just don't like having that much stuff.
How do you keep the kid's stuff from taking over your house?
What items have you found to be the most useful? Which were the least useful?
Would love to hear from you!
Mother’s Day is this weekend and we thought that it would be interesting to discuss the complexities of the mother daughter relationship. Then, we actually thought about it and decided that maybe therapy should come first before we let ourselves fall deep into the emotional well, that is our own relationships with our mothers. I mean, really, we started this podcast as a creative way to talk shit about our mothers and the way they parented us. It was to be a converter of sad and traumatic events into comedy. We are only 20 episodes in, and while we are no longer just talking shit about our mothers, we are definitely not in a place to really delve into our mommy issues.
So… I poured us a cocktail and we decided to watch Bad Moms instead. Alex had never seen it and I really did not remember it. We laughed. Alex cried. We loved the moral of the story. Basically, this movie reminds us that we are all “bad moms.” The perfect mom is an unattainable illusion. The expectations placed on mothers are ridiculous. If we buy into these ideals of what motherhood is supposed to look like, we will never be good enough and always be unhappy.
Let’s face it, this whole model of perfection and unrealistic expectations is placed in all the roles inherent to women. We are supposed to be perfect at everything, our jobs, our relationships, at home, as mothers, and look perfect while doing it all and having it all.
After watching the movie and grazing the surface on some of the mommy issues that came up for us while we watched, we concluded that on mother’s day, along with accepting presents and praise, we should also practice a little bit of self-love. Let’s practice being nicer to ourselves. Let’s practice being patient with ourselves. Let’s allow ourselves to make mistakes and not be perfect. Let’s allow the “bad mom” in us all to emerge, show us how to have fun again and put the “priorities” into perspective. We are so, so, hard on ourselves. Let Mother’s Day be the beginning of a newer and kinder relationship with ourselves.
How will you celebrate Mother's Day?
How will you practice being kinder and more patient with yourself?
Would love to hear from you!
When I was pregnant for the first time the advice that I received the most was to get sleep because I was never going to sleep again. I was already a mom to two fur babies who woke me up constantly in the middle of the night so I didn’t really take this advice too seriously. And the thing is that no matter what advice you get, what books you read, what mother adjacent experience you may have had, nothing can prepare you for the realities of becoming a first time mom. It is just impossible to comprehend until you live it and see how your body, your mind and I dare say your soul, will react. It is an intense and difficult transition and it is all encompassing especially at the very beginning, so it isn’t until you kind of feel like you have the hang of it, that you can even recall who you were before you became a mom.
I am deep into motherhood. Almost 6 years and 2 kids later, and I am seeing the fog lift. I used to be someone totally different. I loved that person. I loved that life. I miss her sometimes. I’m on team hashtag no regrets over here because becoming a mother was all part of the plan, but hey, I’m only human. Of course I miss some of the things that I took for granted before having kids.
Here is a list in no particular order:
1. Real uninterrupted sleep and sleeping in till whenever I wanted on the weekends.
2. Loud crazy sex. I co-sleep and this is no longer an option unless I want to wake up and scare the baby…
3. Eating leisurely and not having to think about cooking various meals to accommodate the kid’s picky eating habits of the week.
4. Being able to be spontaneous. Freedom! Only answering to myself!
5. Going out to adult places and doing adult activities. I get to do this sometime, but not very much. We always have to accommodate the kids.
6. Watching adult TV and movies. Kiss anything rater R or PG-13 even goodbye. I didn’t sleep train so my kids are watching whatever I watch. I know, my bad.
7. Just being me and my husband in the house. The quiet, the solitude, the just-the-two-of-us-ness of it.
8. Being able to wear whatever I want and staying clean throughout the day. Kids are gross is all I’m saying.
9. Getting ready leisurely. I’m the last to get ready and by then I’m stressed and flustered.
10. Quiet time to binge read a book. Quiet in general. Oh, the constant talking sometimes kills me!
11. Being uninterrupted. I. Literally. Cannot. Finish. A. Sentence.
12. The luxury of only having to think about myself. This!
13. The luxury of wasting time. If I had only known then what I know now. Sigh.
Moral of the story is, life changes when you have a kid. (Duh) You will never know how it will change you for better or worse, until you experience it. Good luck out there first time mommas!
What are some of the things you miss from your pre-mom days?
Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give your pre-mom self?
Would love to hear from you!
Wendy writes blog posts that turn into conversations for the Mamá Cita Podcast.