Season 1 Finale
When we first started this podcast, we knew we were making something special. Something for a niche community: Latina moms, from a certain generation, who also happen to listen to podcasts. Along the way though, we’ve realized that while we are creating a product for a niche community, it can be consumed by everyone because no matter who you are, or where you come from, the truth is that motherhood and the topics related to it, are universal. Plus, you know what else is universal? Laughter and friendship. And if you’ve listened to our podcast at all, you know that these two things are at the core.
Alex and I make a pretty good team. We have danced together, played together and now embarked on learning an entirely new industry, and all of the skills that go with it together. It has been an exhausting and at once exciting endeavor. Exhausting because learning to do something new always is. Exciting because the response, while not representing an exorbitant number, has been a wave of love and positivity, which in the end is the greater sum. We laugh a lot and since we did not set out to create comedy, in fact, we intended well researched, informative and fun, we had no idea that the most repeated comment would be that listeners laugh along with us.
The laughter and the shared experience of momming while Latina has resonated with our very special niche community and we are so thankful. You know how they say you learn to be a mom with your first born child? Well, we learned to be mom podcasters with Season 1. And you know how they say by the second child you get it right? Well, same. See you for Season 2! Launch date to be announced.
And as always, would love to hear from you!
Mother’s Day is this weekend and we thought that it would be interesting to discuss the complexities of the mother daughter relationship. Then, we actually thought about it and decided that maybe therapy should come first before we let ourselves fall deep into the emotional well, that is our own relationships with our mothers. I mean, really, we started this podcast as a creative way to talk shit about our mothers and the way they parented us. It was to be a converter of sad and traumatic events into comedy. We are only 20 episodes in, and while we are no longer just talking shit about our mothers, we are definitely not in a place to really delve into our mommy issues.
So… I poured us a cocktail and we decided to watch Bad Moms instead. Alex had never seen it and I really did not remember it. We laughed. Alex cried. We loved the moral of the story. Basically, this movie reminds us that we are all “bad moms.” The perfect mom is an unattainable illusion. The expectations placed on mothers are ridiculous. If we buy into these ideals of what motherhood is supposed to look like, we will never be good enough and always be unhappy.
Let’s face it, this whole model of perfection and unrealistic expectations is placed in all the roles inherent to women. We are supposed to be perfect at everything, our jobs, our relationships, at home, as mothers, and look perfect while doing it all and having it all.
After watching the movie and grazing the surface on some of the mommy issues that came up for us while we watched, we concluded that on mother’s day, along with accepting presents and praise, we should also practice a little bit of self-love. Let’s practice being nicer to ourselves. Let’s practice being patient with ourselves. Let’s allow ourselves to make mistakes and not be perfect. Let’s allow the “bad mom” in us all to emerge, show us how to have fun again and put the “priorities” into perspective. We are so, so, hard on ourselves. Let Mother’s Day be the beginning of a newer and kinder relationship with ourselves.
How will you celebrate Mother's Day?
How will you practice being kinder and more patient with yourself?
Would love to hear from you!
Alex and I both have bicultural children. We are always trying to figure out how to instill in them the cultural traditions and cultural identity that we grew up with. It’s hard. Our kids are growing up in a different world. One in which we have to re-educate ourselves regarding terms like Latinidad.
I like the word Latinidad because to me it sounds very similar to La Unidad, unity. But apparently I am totally wrong about this because as I’ve researched this term and have learned about how it has been used, I have come to realize that it is just another umbrella term that does not quiet encompass the diversity that exists in the Latin American diaspora. This umbrella term just assumes that we are the same type of demographic and this could not be further from the truth.
Politicians, marketers, content creators want to speak to us and appeal to us because we are a fast growing population who will soon be approaching our peak earning years. Having a term like Latino, makes it easy for them, the people in power, the patriarchy, however you want to call it, to put a very diverse population into a very neat little box. The real question here is: is it easier on us to be or become Latinos in the US or is it just another confusing term of identity we have to adapt to and learn to be a part of?
Honestly it’s both easier and confusing. It is easy in the sense that I can just say that I am Latina and most people know what I am talking about, and what that kind of sort of means. Latino/a/x provides a point of reference mainstream America understands. It is more confusing though because it is added layer of identity. I have to be from my country of origin. I have to be American. I also have to be this hybrid Latino in the US that is a little bit of this and a little bit of that, depending on where in the US I reside.
If it is confusing for me, imagine how it is for my kids who happen to also be bicultural. This is my challenge as a mom. How will I teach my children about all of the spaces that they inhabit?
How do you explain Latinidad to your kids?
Is this a term you identify with?
Would love to hear from you!
making mom friends
One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was make mom friends. I am being very deliberate about not just saying friends, because a mom friend is very specific. A mom friend is someone you can go through motherhood with. A mom friend is an ally, a confidant, an ear, and a fellow soldier in the trenches.
I was one of the first to have a baby in my friend circle. I knew nothing about babies, or baby things. Out of sheer luck, a childhood friend, who had already had a baby, moved back to our hometown, where I still lived, and she walked me through what it felt like to be a mother. She drove me to the big box baby store and showed me all of the things that I would need. She helped me to understand the vast transition that I was about to go through. And even with her being so kind, generous of her time and thorough, I still was not prepared for what motherhood would feel like to me.
Not gonna lie, this transition was rough. My son came into the world via emergency c-section, he was 2 weeks old when we move to another county, my husband started a new job, my parents moved in with us, being a first time mom was not what I was expecting and I for sure had postpartum depression. We went through a huge upheaval in our lives. I was suddenly in a new place, living another life and had no friends.
I don’t know how I managed to do this, but I gave myself a mission: to find mom friends. I joined every mom group I could find nearby. I went to every parent and child class that I could attend. I saw other moms, saw how they interacted with their babies, and I talked and asked a ton of questions. These groups helped me become more comfortable in my role as a mother, helped me feel more comfortable in my new community, helped our new multigenerational family become better acclimated.
These groups were a blessing. And while I did not make the type of mom friends that I was looking for at that time, you know, the fellow Mamacitas that would day drink with me at the park while we shit talked about the crazy things our kids did, the groups were a wonderful resource.
My son is almost 6 and I have a second child now. My close friends did eventually start having kids and I did eventually find a mom friend group in my new community. My world has grown immensely. And while I have always said that I am not good at making new friends, I proved to myself during one of the hardest times in my life, that I can. That I could. That I did.
What was your experience making mom friends?
Do you think having mom friends is important?
What do you think the benefits of having a mom friend group have been for you?
Would love to hear from you!
In the 1990’s there was what the media dubbed the Latin explosion, referencing pop artists such as Ricky Martin, J-Lo and Marc Anthony who were successfully doing cross over albums. I remember my teenage self thinking finally, we (Latinos) have arrived. But as it happens with most trends, the idea of the Latin explosion was fleeting.
It wasn’t until recently that I started noticing more Spanish language programming on Netflix, and then learned about the conscious efforts of said company to appeal to and coerce more Latino viewership that I thought to myself, ok Latinos must be trending once again.
But now that we are popular again, are these bigger entities political, commercial and the media, that are trying to coerce us into backing their ideas, purchasing their products, or following their brands, going to do us justice or will they just perpetuate stereotypes that the the mainstream culture is comfortable with? Will we finally get a chance to be real people living in the US with universal problems or will we still be portrayed as two-dimensional caricatures?
In the past, the representation of Latino women in the media has been extremely stereotypical at best. We have been portrayed as the sex pot, the maid, the gangster or as immigrants that cannot speak English, or speaks English with an accent. And while I admit that all stereotypes are founded in some truth, and that we all know one of these archetypes in our own circles, what is missing is everyone else in between. Real, complex, complicated, people that straddle and navigate both worlds with ease and distress.
All I’m saying is that if the powers that be want to appeal to the Latin market and get the Latina experience right, they should check in with real Latinos from all walks of life. They may learn that we have more similarities than differences and that the part about being Latino can just be descriptive and not necessarily all defining.
What are some stereotypes of the Latina woman or mom that you’ve encountered in the media?
Do you see yourself accurately represented?
What would you like to see in the portrayal of Latina women and moms in the media?
Would love to hear from you!
Wendy writes blog posts that turn into conversations for the Mamá Cita Podcast.