When we first started this podcast, we knew we were making something special. Something for a niche community: Latina moms, from a certain generation, who also happen to listen to podcasts. Along the way though, we’ve realized that while we are creating a product for a niche community, it can be consumed by everyone because no matter who you are, or where you come from, the truth is that motherhood and the topics related to it, are universal. Plus, you know what else is universal? Laughter and friendship. And if you’ve listened to our podcast at all, you know that these two things are at the core.
Alex and I make a pretty good team. We have danced together, played together and now embarked on learning an entirely new industry, and all of the skills that go with it together. It has been an exhausting and at once exciting endeavor. Exhausting because learning to do something new always is. Exciting because the response, while not representing an exorbitant number, has been a wave of love and positivity, which in the end is the greater sum. We laugh a lot and since we did not set out to create comedy, in fact, we intended well researched, informative and fun, we had no idea that the most repeated comment would be that listeners laugh along with us.
The laughter and the shared experience of momming while Latina has resonated with our very special niche community and we are so thankful. You know how they say you learn to be a mom with your first born child? Well, we learned to be mom podcasters with Season 1. And you know how they say by the second child you get it right? Well, same. See you for Season 2! Launch date to be announced.
And as always, would love to hear from you!
Mother’s Day is this weekend and we thought that it would be interesting to discuss the complexities of the mother daughter relationship. Then, we actually thought about it and decided that maybe therapy should come first before we let ourselves fall deep into the emotional well, that is our own relationships with our mothers. I mean, really, we started this podcast as a creative way to talk shit about our mothers and the way they parented us. It was to be a converter of sad and traumatic events into comedy. We are only 20 episodes in, and while we are no longer just talking shit about our mothers, we are definitely not in a place to really delve into our mommy issues.
So… I poured us a cocktail and we decided to watch Bad Moms instead. Alex had never seen it and I really did not remember it. We laughed. Alex cried. We loved the moral of the story. Basically, this movie reminds us that we are all “bad moms.” The perfect mom is an unattainable illusion. The expectations placed on mothers are ridiculous. If we buy into these ideals of what motherhood is supposed to look like, we will never be good enough and always be unhappy.
Let’s face it, this whole model of perfection and unrealistic expectations is placed in all the roles inherent to women. We are supposed to be perfect at everything, our jobs, our relationships, at home, as mothers, and look perfect while doing it all and having it all.
After watching the movie and grazing the surface on some of the mommy issues that came up for us while we watched, we concluded that on mother’s day, along with accepting presents and praise, we should also practice a little bit of self-love. Let’s practice being nicer to ourselves. Let’s practice being patient with ourselves. Let’s allow ourselves to make mistakes and not be perfect. Let’s allow the “bad mom” in us all to emerge, show us how to have fun again and put the “priorities” into perspective. We are so, so, hard on ourselves. Let Mother’s Day be the beginning of a newer and kinder relationship with ourselves.
How will you celebrate Mother's Day?
How will you practice being kinder and more patient with yourself?
Would love to hear from you!
The allure of a quinceañera for teenage girls is the stuff, the attention and the feeling of collective adoration from their family and friends. Is it an outdated tradition with misogynistic roots? Yes, completely. Will it ever go out of style? No, I don’t think so.
The quinceañera is not just a party or a debut into society for a young lady of marriageable age. It is an industry with lots of stakeholders comparable to the wedding industry. Because let’s be honest here, a quinceañera and a wedding have way more similarities than differences. And just like weddings, quinceañeras are here to stay.
People love a party and a quinceañera is a party on crack. There is church, a procession, pageantry, synchronized dancing, and of course, glamour and drama. It is the stuff that literally movies, documentaries, and TV shows are made of and have been made of.
For this week’s podcast we interview Jesse Garcia, the star of Quinceañera, the movie from 2006. This movie was released when I was working as a choreographer for a company called Sueños de Quinceañera. I did not have a quince. I had never even been to a quince before starting to choreograph for them. This job, this movie, and all of the subsequent shows like My Super Sweet Sixteen on MTV, were my indoctrination into an a segment of Latino teen life that I had not been aware of.
We talked with Jesse a little bit about quinceañeras, but mostly we talked about the movie. Enjoy!
Did you have a quinceañera?
Will your daughter(s) have one?
Would love to hear from you!
When I was pregnant for the first time the advice that I received the most was to get sleep because I was never going to sleep again. I was already a mom to two fur babies who woke me up constantly in the middle of the night so I didn’t really take this advice too seriously. And the thing is that no matter what advice you get, what books you read, what mother adjacent experience you may have had, nothing can prepare you for the realities of becoming a first time mom. It is just impossible to comprehend until you live it and see how your body, your mind and I dare say your soul, will react. It is an intense and difficult transition and it is all encompassing especially at the very beginning, so it isn’t until you kind of feel like you have the hang of it, that you can even recall who you were before you became a mom.
I am deep into motherhood. Almost 6 years and 2 kids later, and I am seeing the fog lift. I used to be someone totally different. I loved that person. I loved that life. I miss her sometimes. I’m on team hashtag no regrets over here because becoming a mother was all part of the plan, but hey, I’m only human. Of course I miss some of the things that I took for granted before having kids.
Here is a list in no particular order:
1. Real uninterrupted sleep and sleeping in till whenever I wanted on the weekends.
2. Loud crazy sex. I co-sleep and this is no longer an option unless I want to wake up and scare the baby…
3. Eating leisurely and not having to think about cooking various meals to accommodate the kid’s picky eating habits of the week.
4. Being able to be spontaneous. Freedom! Only answering to myself!
5. Going out to adult places and doing adult activities. I get to do this sometime, but not very much. We always have to accommodate the kids.
6. Watching adult TV and movies. Kiss anything rater R or PG-13 even goodbye. I didn’t sleep train so my kids are watching whatever I watch. I know, my bad.
7. Just being me and my husband in the house. The quiet, the solitude, the just-the-two-of-us-ness of it.
8. Being able to wear whatever I want and staying clean throughout the day. Kids are gross is all I’m saying.
9. Getting ready leisurely. I’m the last to get ready and by then I’m stressed and flustered.
10. Quiet time to binge read a book. Quiet in general. Oh, the constant talking sometimes kills me!
11. Being uninterrupted. I. Literally. Cannot. Finish. A. Sentence.
12. The luxury of only having to think about myself. This!
13. The luxury of wasting time. If I had only known then what I know now. Sigh.
Moral of the story is, life changes when you have a kid. (Duh) You will never know how it will change you for better or worse, until you experience it. Good luck out there first time mommas!
What are some of the things you miss from your pre-mom days?
Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give your pre-mom self?
Would love to hear from you!
Alex and I both have bicultural children. We are always trying to figure out how to instill in them the cultural traditions and cultural identity that we grew up with. It’s hard. Our kids are growing up in a different world. One in which we have to re-educate ourselves regarding terms like Latinidad.
I like the word Latinidad because to me it sounds very similar to La Unidad, unity. But apparently I am totally wrong about this because as I’ve researched this term and have learned about how it has been used, I have come to realize that it is just another umbrella term that does not quiet encompass the diversity that exists in the Latin American diaspora. This umbrella term just assumes that we are the same type of demographic and this could not be further from the truth.
Politicians, marketers, content creators want to speak to us and appeal to us because we are a fast growing population who will soon be approaching our peak earning years. Having a term like Latino, makes it easy for them, the people in power, the patriarchy, however you want to call it, to put a very diverse population into a very neat little box. The real question here is: is it easier on us to be or become Latinos in the US or is it just another confusing term of identity we have to adapt to and learn to be a part of?
Honestly it’s both easier and confusing. It is easy in the sense that I can just say that I am Latina and most people know what I am talking about, and what that kind of sort of means. Latino/a/x provides a point of reference mainstream America understands. It is more confusing though because it is added layer of identity. I have to be from my country of origin. I have to be American. I also have to be this hybrid Latino in the US that is a little bit of this and a little bit of that, depending on where in the US I reside.
If it is confusing for me, imagine how it is for my kids who happen to also be bicultural. This is my challenge as a mom. How will I teach my children about all of the spaces that they inhabit?
How do you explain Latinidad to your kids?
Is this a term you identify with?
Would love to hear from you!
Wendy writes blog posts that turn into conversations for the Mamá Cita Podcast.